A ridiculous, rapid-fire parlour game of metaphors, competitiveness, and mild family chaos — guaranteed to make you simile

Players: 2–10
Time: 1 minute per round
Materials: Paper and pens (or phones)

Classic

The Judge Chooses a Seed Word
The Judge picks an adjective for the round: nervous, festive, brittle, smug, jealous, tired, magnificent, etc.

One Minute to Write
All other players write an original line beginning with: “As [adjective] as…”

Examples
As nervous as a fly in a swat factory.
As festive as tinsel made from losing lottery tickets.

Read Aloud
Either read your own line or submit anonymously for a dramatic reveal.

Judge Selects a Winner
Criteria are entirely up to the Judge: originality, humour, poetic flair, surprising accuracy, sheer audacity.

Award Points and Rotate
The winner earns 1 point.
The winner becomes the next Judge.
(And may, on select occasions, be forced to finish their drink.)

Play to 5 points or for a set number of rounds.Advanced

Advanced

(Optional — ideal for literary tables or those already tipsy.)

A. Implicit Metaphors
No “as” or “like.”
Nervousness is a blind percussionist who has not checked all her drums.

B. Twisted Proverbs
Warp an idiom:
An early bird catches the best compliments.

C. Alliteration Round
Metaphors must alliterate:
As pissed as prior’s post-prandial parable.
(or your own similarly overcooked tongue-twister)

D. Haiku Round
Five–seven–five syllables, still linked to the adjective.

E. Theme Round
All metaphors must share a theme: festive, nautical, celestial, gothic, political, culinary, etc.

F. Secret Scoring
Only the Judge knows the criterion (“funniest,” “most delicate,” “most deranged”).
Reveal after the choice.
Points can also be docked for lack of originality or blatant clichés — expect shouting.

Solo

Choose an adjective.
Write your line.
Ask ChatGPT to come up with a simile or metaphor.
Do better.
Ask ChatGPT to judge.
(Ed: I have found that this is a far better Turing test than the old one.)

And yes, there is an adult version — as saucy as a French chef on OnlyFans...